not even in the room

like quitting cigarettes
i think i’m thinking

of something else
i’m thinking of you

i’m addicted

and if you don’t smoke
you don’t know
what i mean
but you do, so youlove-1181067_960_720 do,
but i’ll never tell you,
so you won’t.

i think i’m able
to focus
on something else
some conversation
some person
standing in front of me

is ostensibly holding
that i am ostensibly part of

he thinks it’s two-way
he thinks i hear

he thinks i’m smiling
at the content
or the context

and i’ll jump in any time now,
he assumes;

i’m not even in the room
i am smiling at a moment
at a memory of you

had to stop and tell you
in a virtual confession
i can’t quit

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© 2012 kStan(ly) Lanning
picture by waldryano courtesy pixabay,com
Daily prompt – smoke