culinarily challenged

 

chef guy gives his flan a jiggle
he gives his lime a twist
he underplays his mastery
he says it’s in the wrist
well my poor wrist don’t have it
unless it’s sara lee
my brain refrains from learning
culinarily
….
kitchen_disasteras my custard
starts to thicken
i feel my pulse
begin to quicken
my heart goes
thump-a-thump
i see a shadow
pass my window
when i look down
my flan’s a lump
i guess i’ll never get it
i guess it’s no big deal
we’ll drop in on my sister
when we crave a homemade meal

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
©  2017 kStan(ly) Lanning
picture courtesy bing.com/images
 created for the Daily prompt – jiggle and the Daily prompt – quicken

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off-kilter

tilted-glasses

 

we heard a
loud sound
then the ship
ran aground
now we’re
walking around
all off-kilter
everyone leans
and they’re
splitting
their jeans

‘cuz on cruises
you eat
with no filter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© 2016 and 2017 kStan(ly) Lanning
originally created for this picture from sunday photo fiction
Daily prompt – sound

the importance of being yellow

sun-1953052_960_720

i know a girl
who didn’t
like yellow
they took it away
and what then?
butterfly-979557_960_720the sun left the sky
and the
butterflies died
and she couldn’t
watch Minions againminion-888824_960_720
bananas and lemons
no longer existed
and so there
was no lemonade
daffodils left
and the daisies
went too
and the gardens
looked saddened
and faded

all the taxis
were gonecity-1265055_960_720
and the moon
had moved on
and the rainbows background-1466088_960_720.png
were mostly
just blue
because yellow
was used

to create
other hues
green and orange
abandoned us too
adorable-15904_960_720the ducks and
the chicks
and giraffes

were all black
so the little animal-156709_960_720.png
girl wept
and at night
while she slept
they brought all
the yellow things back

autumn-1804585_960_720
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© 2017 kStan(ly) Lanning
pictures courtesy pixabay.com
created for the Daily prompt – yellow
inspired by a little girl who lost her love for yellow

weighing in

rootbeer-1560577_960_720the weevil has
a root beer float
his twin sister
has salad
as weevils go,
those in the know
know either choice
is valid
their tastes aresalad-575436_960_720
unaccountable
no problem
insurmountable
but if this was
their habit
from the time they
were new beetles
she must be the
lesser of two weevils
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© 2016 kStan(ly) Lanning
pictures courtesy pixabay.com
created for the Daily prompt – float

thanks a bunch

the tart little apple
fell from the tree
she batted her eyes
apple-green-356037_960_720and she cooed help me
granny grace
was walking by
she picked that apple
for her pie
but hours before
she went to bake it
henry came along
to take it
in his brown bag
with his lunch
so thank you henry
thanks a bunch
you did this little
green a favor
tart little apples
live to be savored
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© 2016 kStan(ly) Lanning
picture by comfreak courtesy pixabay.com
created for the Daily prompt – tart

to emphasize her point

daddy loved all kinds of fish
his favorite food hands down
but momma made
the kitchen rules
no seafood was allowedseafood-platter-1605699_960_720
so any time he craved a dish
with lobster, mussels,
clams or fish
he had to take us out to eat
at fancy, upscale joints
and sit across
the room from her
to emphasize her point
momma had reserved for fish
a special kind of hate
she worried that their molecules
would creep onto her plate
their children got to see them both
behaving somewhat selfish(ly)
but as for me, my empathy
lay mainly with the shellfish(ies)*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© 2016 kStan(ly) Lanning
picture by mp1746 courtesy pixabay.com
created for the Daily prompt – fish
* because of this Lewis Carroll favorite, The Walrus and The Carpenter

he wants to live forever

i know a guy,
wants to live foreverskeleton-giphy
his diet is
almost all vegetal
he’s gone starchless
and meatless
and milkless
and sweetless
and now he is
almost all skeletal
the ironical thing,
he resents living
but he wants to live forever

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© 2016 kStan(ly) Lanning
picture courtesy giphy.com
created for the Daily prompt – vegetal

just for a smile from her

the gyro guy turned zealous
when nina brought her daughter
he served us all with relish
no matter what we ordered
this quiet man in seconds
became a raconteur
and entertained us playfully
just for a smile from hernyt-food-cart-vets-at-met
the relish was delicious
as some of you could guess
it may have been nutritious
but the falafels were a mess
that was just a year ago
but not surprisingly
he’s dating nina’s daughter now
we all get lunch for free

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© 2016 kStan(ly) Lanning
picture courtesy bing.com/images
created for the Daily prompt – relish

he should have been in school

today is monday, halloween-costume
halloween
it’s 9 a.m.and
i’ve just seen
an eerie scary
creepy ghoul…
he should have
been in school.
he made demands
i didn’t meet
i didn’t have a
trick or treat
cuz every other
year before
no one came
up to my door…
no matter how elaborate
my decorations grew
they never crossed
the street to me
it was as if
they knew
what this young
man did not surmise…
i’ll serve him later
with french fries
and pumpkin soup i’m making
after he’s done baking

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© 2016 kStan(ly) Lanning
picture courtesy bing.com/images
created for the Daily prompt – eerie

artificial ants

aardvark0073
aaron is an aardvark
who eats artificial ants
he loves the gummies
but his mom says
aaron, no, you can’t
they’ll interfere with dinner
they’ll mess with your digestion
aargh, says aaron, agony,
that answers my next question

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© 2016 kStan(ly) Lanning
picture by uniprot.org courtesy bing.com/images
created for the Daily prompt – artificial