culinarily challenged

 

chef guy gives his flan a jiggle
he gives his lime a twist
he underplays his mastery
he says it’s in the wrist
well my poor wrist don’t have it
unless it’s sara lee
my brain refrains from learning
culinarily
….

as my custard
starts to thicken
i feel my pulse
begin to quicken
my heart goes
thump-a-thump

i see a shadow
pass my window

when i look down
my flan’s a lump
i guess i’ll never get it
i guess it’s no big deal
we’ll drop in on my sister
when we crave a homemade meal

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
©  2017 kStan(ly) Lanning
picture courtesy bing.com/images
 created for the Daily prompt – jiggle and the Daily prompt – quicken

off-kilter

 

we heard a
loud sound
then the ship
ran aground
now we’re
walking around
all off-kilter
everyone leans
and they’re
splitting
their jeans

‘cuz on cruises
you eat
with no filter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© 2016 and 2017 kStan(ly) Lanning
originally created for this picture from sunday photo fiction
Daily prompt – sound

the importance of being yellow

…
i know a girl

who didn’t
like yellow

they took it away

and what then?

the sun left the sky

and the
butterflies died

and she couldn’t
watch Minions again

bananas and lemons

no longer existed

and so there
was no lemonade

daffodils left
and the daisies
went too

and the gardens
looked saddened
and faded

all the taxis
were gone

and the moon
had moved on
and the rainbows
were mostly
just blue
because yellow
was used

to create
other hues
green and orange
abandoned us too
the ducks and
the chicks
and giraffes

were all black

so the little
girl wept

and at night
while she slept

they brought all
the yellow things back
…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© 2017 kStan(ly) Lanning
pictures courtesy pixabay.com
created for the Daily prompt – yellow
inspired by a little girl who lost her love for yellow

weighing in

the weevil has
a root beer float

his twin sister
has salad

as weevils go,

those in the know

know either choice
is valid
…

their tastes are
unaccountable

no problem
insurmountable

but if this was
their habit

from the time they
were new beetles

she must be the
lesser of two weevils

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© 2016 kStan(ly) Lanning
pictures courtesy pixabay.com
created for the Daily prompt – float

thanks a bunch

the tart little apple

fell from the tree

she batted her eyes
and she cooed help me

granny grace
was walking by

she picked that apple
for her pie

but hours before

she went to bake it

henry came along
to take it

in his brown bag

with his lunch

so thank you henry
thanks a bunch

you did this little
green a favor

tart little apples

live to be savored

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© 2016 kStan(ly) Lanning
picture by comfreak courtesy pixabay.com
created for the Daily prompt – tart

to emphasize her point

daddy loved all kinds of fish
his favorite food hands down
but momma made
the kitchen rules
no seafood was allowed

so any time he craved a dish

with lobster, mussels,
clams or fish

he had to take us out to eat
at fancy, upscale joints

and sit across
the room from her
to emphasize her point
momma had reserved for fish
a special kind of hate
she worried that their molecules
would creep onto her plate
their children got to see them both
behaving somewhat selfish(ly)
but as for me, my empathy
lay mainly with the shellfish(ies)*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© 2016 kStan(ly) Lanning
picture by mp1746 courtesy pixabay.com
created for the Daily prompt – fish
* because of this Lewis Carroll favorite, The Walrus and The Carpenter

he wants to live forever

i know a guy,
wants to live forever

his diet is
almost all vegetal

he’s gone starchless
and meatless

and milkless
and sweetless

and now he is
almost all skeletal
the ironical thing,
he resents living
but he wants to live forever

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© 2016 kStan(ly) Lanning
picture courtesy giphy.com
created for the Daily prompt – vegetal

just for a smile from her

the gyro guy turned zealous

when nina brought her daughter

he served us all with relish

no matter what we ordered

this quiet man in seconds

became a raconteur

and entertained us playfully

just for a smile from her
the relish was delicious

as some of you could guess
it may have been nutritious
but the falafels were a mess
that was just a year ago
but not surprisingly
he’s dating nina’s daughter now

we all get lunch for free

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© 2016 kStan(ly) Lanning
picture courtesy bing.com/images
created for the Daily prompt – relish

he should have been in school

today is monday,
halloween

it’s 9 a.m.and
i’ve just seen

an eerie scary
creepy ghoul…

he should have
been in school.

he made demands
i didn’t meet

i didn’t have a
trick or treat

cuz every other
year before

no one came
up to my door…

no matter how elaborate
my decorations grew

they never crossed
the street to me

it was as if
they knew

what this young
man did not surmise…

i’ll serve him later
with french fries

and pumpkin soup i’m making

after he’s done baking

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© 2016 kStan(ly) Lanning
picture courtesy bing.com/images
created for the Daily prompt – eerie

artificial ants

aaron is an aardvark
who eats artificial ants

he loves the gummies

but his mom says

aaron, no, you can’t
they’ll interfere with dinner

they’ll mess with your digestion
aargh, says aaron, agony,
that answers my next question

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
© 2016 kStan(ly) Lanning
picture by uniprot.org courtesy bing.com/images
created for the Daily prompt – artificial